Know The Danger Of Wanting To Please Everyone
Wanting to please everyone is not positive for us and can cause us to have very harmful interpersonal relationships, since our self-esteem can suffer a lot.
Many people are constantly seeking approval from others. This makes them fall into a serious mistake, in wanting to please everyone. The reason this should never be done is because it is impossible.
People who do not seek to want to please are aware that they cannot be liked by everyone. But this happens to themselves. Not all people like them, nor do they all agree on their opinions. Today we are going to discover what happens when you try to please others at all costs and the consequences that this has for yourself.
Wanting to please makes you forget who you are
The danger of wanting to please everyone is that, little by little, you forget who you are. The reason this happens is because you cannot be yourself, since you have to mold yourself to others in order to get their approval.
For example, if you are a person who likes to gesture a lot, because in a group of friends they like this, the moment you are with people who make fun of this, you will stop doing it. Therefore, you will move between gesturing and non-gesturing depending on who you are with.
The question would be: how do you want to act? Perhaps you find yourself in a middle ground in which you gesture the right and necessary. However, in your eagerness to please, you move between two extremes. This, over time, will make you not know very well what you really are or act when you do not want to please anyone.
Disappointment will be your greatest friend
When you want to want to please everyone, you have to know that disappointment is going to become your greatest friend. It is impossible for everyone you meet to like you and sometimes, as much as you try to please them, you will not get it.
This will make you feel like you’re constantly disappointing everyone, and instead of seeing where your mistake is, look harder to continue to please others. This, instead of satisfaction or well-being, will plunge you into a spiral of stress and anxiety.
You will not enjoy your relationships, but you will always be alert to the possibility of pleasing people or not. This will take a lot of energy out of you, so it’s going to be normal for you to feel drained and mentally fatigued quite often.
You will not be able to set limits or be assertive
Setting limits and being assertive are two very necessary skills in interpersonal relationships. Unfortunately, they are frowned upon and people have to learn and acquire tools to protect themselves in their relationships.
When you try to want to please everyone, what happens is that people can start taking advantage of you. Faced with your inability to say “no”, to always be there and not to realize that they are using you, you will be exposed to people who can do you a lot of harm.
Wanting to please everyone makes you an easy target for toxic people. Even if they manipulate you, even if they deceive you, even if they are taking advantage of you, you will only be focused on pleasing them.
The problem with all this is that it will affect your self-esteem. In fact, if you want to want to please everyone, it is most likely that this is not very well cared for.
When you want to please everyone, you are not really acting consciously. There is a pain or a lack in you that makes you act in this way so harmful to yourself. You are not really happy, you are constantly stressed. Yet there you are still, operating on autopilot.
Doing work to increase self-esteem will be very necessary to stop wanting to please everyone. Accept that wanting to achieve this is impossible. Working assertiveness and setting limits in our relationships is very important to enjoy healthier relationships.
Have you ever found yourself trying to please everyone? Do you have trouble being who you are to others and adapt without realizing it? Being self-critical will help us to give the most accurate answer possible and thus find a solution.
