How Can I Improve My Self-esteem After A Separation?

A separation can be one of the most stressful situations that can be experienced. It not only involves going through the pain of the breakup but also adjusting to a lifestyle without a partner. For these reasons it is important to pay attention to self-esteem in order to take care of ourselves and protect ourselves. Now, is it possible to improve self-esteem after a separation?

The answer is yes, although for this we have to be aware that a separation implies that the future project we dreamed of has ceased to exist. This means that we have to take control of our lives to face a new reality, the one in which we find ourselves face to face with ourselves.

After a separation our life takes a new direction. We are left alone to embark on a new path in which the main protagonist is us. Now, it is normal for insecurity and nostalgia to appear in this situation. Hence, it is so important to check ourselves to strengthen ourselves and design the route of the new path. 

Below we recommend a series of keys to improve self-esteem after a separation and to make the recovery process as smooth as possible.

Improving self-esteem after a separation starts with taking care of yourself

The first key to improving self-esteem after a separation is to start taking care of yourself. Worrying about how we are, what we feel and what our thoughts are is essential to know where we are.

It is normal that after a couple breakup we feel bad,  we think about the other person, we do not feel like anything and we even believe that we will not find anyone to establish another relationship. Now, the important thing is not to focus on looking for another person, but on properly working out the duel to close the chapter and be able to  start our reconstruction process. 

Putting an end to that stage will help us improve self-esteem because it will allow us to think about the future, either to see what we want to improve ourselves or to define what our next personal projects will be.

On the other hand, it is important that throughout this process we do not stop paying attention to ourselves. To do this, we can ask ourselves how we see ourselves, what we value about ourselves and what aspects we want to improve.

Taking care of yourself is a priority, both physically and psychologically, especially when it comes to rebuilding. Hence we have to pay attention to our routines, relationships with others and of course our health.

Elaborate the duel

To improve self-esteem after a separation, it is essential to go through the grieving process. There will be confusing moments, others with a bitter taste and others in which we will gradually improve. It is normal, a break is a change, a confrontation with the unknown. Now, the thing to keep in mind is that this process takes time.

At the end of a relationship, we lose a part of our identity, that which was associated with life as a couple. In its place, a feeling of emptiness begins to appear little by little, an anguish that we do not know or do not want to deal with in most cases and that in others, leads us to act without thinking.

For this reason, many people choose to start a new relationship with another person. Your goal is to end that deep void. The problem is that despite being a way to lessen the pain of the breakup and distract yourself from the memories that may come to mind, most of the time it is like putting on a patch. A short-term solution but that in the long run can have consequences, such as dragging certain aspects, conflicts and difficulties from the previous relationship.

Others prefer to take refuge in social networks to feel wanted again, remind themselves that they are not going to be alone or simply avoid suffering. And although this option is not negative, it also has its consequences when the grieving process is put aside.

It’s natural to feel pain, feel broken, or be disappointed after a breakup. Our self-esteem has collapsed, but we have to lift it by looking straight at it, rather than dodging it.

It’s natural to feel sad, but being pessimistic is a choice

Another important aspect to take into account after a breakup is our attitude to what happened. Thus, if we want to improve self-esteem after a separation, it is essential that we be aware that sadness is a natural emotion in these types of situations. Therefore, instead of rejecting it, the first step is to accept it as part of the recovery process.

Now, what happens if we don’t? We will probably get stuck in a state of continual discomfort in which, from time to time, ghosts from the past will appear. Even if the situation lasts a long time, we can become depressed. 

The more we try to avoid that sadness, the more likely we are to surround ourselves with a cloud of pessimism and unease. Negativity will begin to be a part of our lives.  The key is to observe what happened from another perspective, the one in which we can learn from what happened in order to continue growing.

Thus, improving self-esteem after a separation will be possible as long as we look at sadness head-on, but not to tear it down but to understand it and thus be able to heal our wounds.