“It’s Not You, It’s Me”: What Does This Expression Really Hide?

– “It’s not you, it’s me” .-  One of the most used phrases during the breakup of couples. Although many people consider it a subtle way to end their relationships, it is actually a mask that can create confusion and leave a bad taste in the person who listens to it. In this article we will tell you what this expression actually hides.

“It’s not you, it’s me”: What does this expression really hide?

1. Make the breakup less painful

Is there really a way to end a  relationship  without causing harm? Generally not. However, there are a number of details that everyone deserves to know when we are going to “break” that bond.

• We all deserve sincerity and respect : With the “it’s not you, it’s me” we seek that our partner does not feel pain, since we carry on our  shoulders all the responsibility for the failure of the relationship, when, in reality, there are real reasons why we have stopped loving her.

• Far from telling him the truth, we think it is better to say that “ you are too good for me, I don’t deserve you, I don’t know how to make you happy”. Make no mistake, it is also a form of selfishness, we are avoiding explanations and also facing sadness.

2. We do not give any option to the couple

If we say that the problem is in ourselves,  our partner can do absolutely nothing, except accept it. We have built  a wall that you cannot cross.

It will be useless for our partner to say: “I will try to change” , “we will try again and I will do whatever it takes to make you happy” or “I will do whatever you want to make this relationship prosper.” Although it is understandable that, sometimes, it is what we are looking for.

3. The inability to act with maturity and responsibility

The expression “it’s not you, it’s me” is possibly  the expression of our immaturity and emotional emptiness.  If you use it you will be showing:

• Low  emotional intelligence .  People who do not assume their responsibilities have little ability to cope with problems and handle emotions.

• Lack of courage and maturity. To think that with the “it’s not you, it’s me” we are going to finish earlier and we are going to take a load off our shoulders is a mistake. Growing up is also facing what we fear.

What is the best way to end a relationship?

Although ending a relationship is always difficult, there are certain tips that we can give you so that you can do it in the most respectful and least painful way possible:

• Never use the phrase “it’s not you it’s me”, of course. Just talk to the person honestly about the problems in your relationship and why you have decided to end it.
• Never leave someone through a message, by phone and even less through social networks, causing third parties to also know that information that, let’s not forget, is very private. You must speak face to face with the person showing absolute sincerity, even if it hurts. It is the truth and as such it must be assumed.

• Don’t raise your voice, argue things calmly and precisely. That way we will always get to the point and feel much more secure. Talk about your current needs and how you feel. Do not look for culprits. All of this will help both of you to face the process with greater poise.

If you tell the truth and don’t hide behind masks and lies, you too will feel much better. And that is something that is worthwhile and that will serve you as learning.