How Do I Know If My Child Is Under Stress? How To Help You?

Stress is not something unique to adults. Sometimes it is common to think that children have an easy life and that their only responsibilities are to study, behave well and enjoy themselves with their friends. However, this is a mistake. Every parent must ask themselves from time to time: How do I know if my child is under stress? 

Children also have daily pressures and difficulties that are sometimes overlooked. These can even affect them physically, causing them to suffer stomach problems, sleep disorders, nervousness, eating disorders …

These symptoms are almost never given importance, as it is not understood that a child may suffer from certain psychological problems. So what can be done in these cases? How to be sure that the children are suffering from stress or it is just something temporary?

How do I know if my child is under stress?

It must be clear. Sometimes you try to do things for children that, instead of making them happy, cause them more stress and suffering.

Many parents, to get their children to do better in school, enroll them in countless extracurricular activities. What they do in these cases is put even more pressure on them.

In other words, they “overload” them with tasks and this prevents them from being “children” and enjoying their free time. Above all, of their moments of leisure with other children.

However, the causes can be multiple, and that sometimes includes other people. Your child’s behavior may be due to problems related to school or with his friends.

According to this study carried out by Dr. Ariel Gold, from the University of the Republic of Uruguay, the symptoms of stress could be confused with different types of anxiety. Both can cause somatization in the child and the development of so-called psychogenic pain, among others.

If your child suffers from any of these problems,  you should be attentive to the symptoms to know how to identify them:

• They fall ill easily.
• Always be very tired.
• Suffering from constant vomiting or dizziness.
• They may suffer from sleep disturbances.
• Not feeling like eating or playing.
• Not wanting to go to school in the morning.
• Suffering from diarrhea or periods of continuous constipation.
• Having many allergies or having numerous nosebleeds.

Tips to help your child manage stress

If your child suffers from stress, it is important, first of all, to know what causes it and what can be done to eliminate that source of anxiety that alters his tranquility.

Some changes may need to be made to your daily routine to make you feel better, or there may be a problem at home that needs to be resolved together.

Be that as it may, it is important that the child knows what stress is and how it is managed. At the end of the day, it is a dimension that you will have to face more times in your life. Hence, it is important that you acquire a series of skills as soon as possible.

Here are a few strategies that might help:

1. A time for themselves throughout the day

You may think that children, unlike you, have all the time in the world to themselves. But it’s not like that. Their school hours are sometimes very long.  They come home and have endless homework to do from different subjects. In addition, they must practice sports or other activities… Later, they have dinner and, after a while, they go to bed.

When can they be “really kids”? Allow them time to do nothing; to laugh, to play, to draw … Teach them that people need their own spaces to be ourselves with tranquility.

Keep in mind that playing video games or being with the computer is not resting, since this type of activity overexcites them even more.

2. Teach them to listen to their own body

When they have a headache, ask them the following to subtly probe what the problem may be:

• Have you eaten well in the school dining room? Have you eaten it all or have you left it?
• Something is bothering you?
• Are you nervous about an exam?
• Is there a child that bothers you in class?

It is important for children to understand that sometimes those headaches or stomachaches are due to things that are not being done well. “If you don’t eat properly, you fall ill. And if you are nervous about some things, parts of the body can also hurt, like the head or the stomach ”.

The sooner they understand this kind of thing, the better.

3. Teach them to communicate and express their feelings

The last thing you should do with children is subject them to “police questioning” because they will feel pressured and, instead of explaining their concerns, they will avoid you.

If your child suffers from stress, you should know why it is, so you have to get him to speak naturally and also find relief by doing so.

This is not something that is achieved overnight. It is something that you have to work with from when they are very young. Of course, through trust, not judging and offering maximum openness and maximum affection.

• Talk to them through their drawings, ask them what they represent.
• Ask him if there is something in his day to day that he would like to change or not do more.
• Ask him what would make him happiest in those moments.

Ask them simple, polite questions that don’t scare or pressure them. Be subtle and show them a lot of love.

4. Children must learn to overcome small daily difficulties

For a child to properly manage his stress, it is not at all that adults solve all difficulties. If the problem is at home, however, yes that action should be taken on the matter.

On the other hand, if the child, for example, has anxiety about exams or feels stressed by tasks that must be completed, you must help him to apply strategies with which to overcome those adversities.

Never underestimate their problems. They are important to them, so support them in everything. Remember also that you serve as a role model for them at all times. Stress is contagious and if they see us stressed, they will suffer too.

Respect them

You should not underestimate the emotions of your children, no matter how small they are. Like you, they too feel and suffer. If you really notice that they are not well, give them your full support and do not let it pass.

These small but important tips will help you stay alert and communicate better with them. This way you can teach them habits and valuable learning to manage their emotions and overcome difficulties.